Nevada officials were caught off guard on Tuesday when Hawai‘i Gov. Josh Green seized control of Sin City.
"I'm proud to declare April 1st Hawai‘i Liberation Day," he proclaimed from a hastily erected podium in front of the Bellagio Resort & Casino.
Millions of expatriate kama‘āina converged on the scene as the governor rolled out a series of dramatic reforms.
Clark County was disbanded and in its place, Green established the Extremely Mauka County of Hawai‘i. The California Hotel & Casino, however, was not renamed for fear that Hawai‘i residents would no longer find their way to nickel slots and endless buffets.
"I think itʻs well past time that we started imagining a new future for Las Vegas, a Hawai‘i future" the governor declared. "Solar-powered fans will bring tradewinds. A canal to California will create beaches. The IKEAs will no longer sell those awful Swedish meatballs and instead will offer poke bowls, lau lau, dim sum and rice."
While Hawai‘i émigrés cheered their sudden rise to power, not everyone was comfortable with the new arrangement.
"Wait just a minute! Wait a minute!" shouted Nevada Gaming Commissioner Tex S. Holdem through a bullhorn. "Isnʻt gambling illegal in Hawai‘i?"
A hush fell over the crowd as Gov. Green produced a whiteboard and drew an elaborate diagram of infectious gambling addiction. That segued into a discussion of tax policy, with Hawai‘i proceeding to levy a personal income tax on all earnings where none had been collected in Nevada before.
"Whoa, this is not what I retired to Vegas for," murmured former state worker Brenton Nishigami, who had turned a $700,000 Mililani Mauka townhome into a five-bedroom single-family home for half the price in 2012.
At last report, former Hawai‘i-Nevada residents were seen loading U-Haul trucks to decamp to South Dakota, which has no income taxes.
Editorʻs note: Happy April Foolʻs Day — the only day youʻll see fake news at Aloha State Daily.
