I am turning 65 years old.
And no, it's no 65 years young.
I'm not a birthday number kind of guy and I'm definitely not a birthday party kind of guy either.
I don't really recall if I got that fired up about birthdays when I was a kid but there are certain age milestones that compel consideration.
My first impression of an important birthday was when I reached 10-years-old. Why? I was a decade old and didn't have to deal with fractions to make myself feel grown up.
"Oh my, you're getting so much bigger now. How old are you?"
"I'm 7 years and 8 months".
I don't do math.
So, 10-years-old was a moment when I could leave behind the numerical embellishment and just be a whole number.
Of course, the 18th birthday was important because, yes, I was an adult. Legally, morally, and ethically. I'm now technically a man, baby. I was in my first year of school, away from home, and I discovered a sense of independence and freedom for really the first time. I also discovered toga parties. Case closed.
The 21st. The big one. All gearing up for that first drink, that first time in a bar. Scratch that. I was doing that for about as long as I can remember. Let's just say I grew up fast.
There were others of significance; the 30th, the 40th, and each decade that followed. In that span of 30-plus years, I had only two "parties." I was content with spending time with my family, a dinner out/a dinner in, catch a movie or something similar.
Back in the day I loved to play poker. To this day I still love to play golf.
I would treat myself to solo trips to play cards in Vegas or to a poker room in the Bay Area (personal favorite was Lucky Chances). It was freeing and exceptionally enjoyable to do what you wanted, when you wanted, how you wanted and not have to worry about anybody else. Selfish? Doesn't matter. You get a day for yourself each year and you should do whatever the Hell you want — guilt free. And I did.
Other years, it was a long golf weekend with the boys. Neighbor islands. The last go around was three years ago to Kaua‘i. It was significant because that was the last time I was able to play pain free. I developed a bad shoulder condition over the years from side sleeping. Both shoulders, especially the left, became virtually immobilized. At the same time, I developed back pain, so I was truly hobbled. It was to the point I needed help from sitting down to getting out of my car. No bueno. I was prescribed physical therapy and after the first of an estimated 8 months of treatment I moved on.
I was blessed to have met the physicians at NexGenesis Healthcare who specialized in regenerative therapy utilizing your own stem cells. Cut to the chase. Miraculously, I was back. Movement, mobility, negating chronic pain. Gone. It was and remains amazing. It allowed me to do what I love and my quality of life was restored.
There's a whole cadre of considerations when you reach the 65-year-old mark and decisions to make.
Medicare. I've heard about it, I've reported about it, but what is it? All I know is I have three months to register or I can be subject to fines and other bad things. Hey, I have my own healthcare and it's treating me just fine, but I'll figure out what it's about.
Retire or work. Umm, I live in Hawai‘i, the most expensive place in the solar system. There's no way I am going to retire here. Plus, I love what I do for a living. I've been in the radio business for 40-plus years, and I'm blessed to work with Aloha State Daily. I honestly think I'd be bored.
Get a physical. If you have not had one recently and you're 65, the time is yesterday. Take it from me. Year after year I said to myself now this is the time I'll change. Moron — I didn't and now I'm confronting substantial health issues. Thankfully, I'm benefitting from quality care from so many, but this would have been avoided if I had only stayed the course.
Social Security benefits. At age 66, you can qualify for full benefits. Some folks began at 62. I'm still working and I'm not sure I would even qualify for Social Security disbursements. I'll take another look next year in order to optimize my benefits. But you have to make some decisions one way or the other.
What to do when you're gone. Ok, there's no joy in Mudville when contemplating and discussing your own mortality. But it has to be done. Here's the tricky part. You have to have the conversation with your family. Yes, the kids, too. There are no written rules but sharing with those who are closest and important to you is helping them more than it's helping you. If you're the breadwinner, you have a responsibility to ensure your family knows what to do when you die, and they know that you're taking care of them when you're gone.
Be honest about everything. Do you want to be buried or cremated? Do you have funeral insurance? Who do you want — or do not want — to attend your service? Is your will completed and is it a legally binding document? You do not want any confusion that can prove to be destructive to those who are already grieving your loss. If you find this difficult enlist a dispassionate professional so you can get advice from a party who has no skin in the game. You'll rest peacefully knowing you did what was right.
Finally, as 65 years on Earth approaches, it's time to live in the moment. Take a few more days off, create a great "bucket list" of things you'd love to do and see, and do your very, very best to reconnect relationships that may have faltered over the years. Forgiveness is a powerful act that delivers a dramatic return on a minimal investment. It's OK to say you're sorry.
A story is shared by a pastor who attended so many final moments of parishioners who passed. He relates that no one ever asked to see their trophies one last time or have their diplomas brought into the hospital room to be seen again or have stacks of cash surrounding them on their beds. The last wish of those dying is to be surrounded by the people they love. Their families and dearest friends.
You don't have to wait until the last moments to understand that's the essence of life.
Love.
Regardless of you age, start living a life of love today.
Rick Hamada can be reached at rickhamada@aol.com.
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